Erin: What is wrong with you????

Duncan: I dunno, I guess I’m just a huge asshole or something.

Erin: You are an asshole! I don’t know why I keep hoping you’re ever going to change when you can’t even do the bare mimimum.

Duncan: You keep going on about how you want me to change - I don’t know why you even married me!

Erin: Wow, there’s some fucking fine-print. Don’t remember the part of our wedding vows where we said you could fuck whoever you felt like. In fact, I distinctly remember ‘forsaking all others’-

Duncan: That’s so unfair, it’s not like I did it on purpose. You know I have poor impluse control-

Erin: That’s a new one. It’s not like I expect the world, Duncan! Just don’t screw other women, is that really so much to ask?




It’s really a good thing Lewis is such a heavy sleeper…




Lewis: Are you okay, Mommy?

Erin: Why do you ask?

Lewis: You look like you’ve been crying!

Erin: I’m fine, dear. Just didn’t sleep very well.




Duncan: I won’t be at practice… Yeah, I guess you’d call it a family emergency. Sorry!




Duncan: Woah, is it just me or does it look bigger already?

Aiyanna: That’s how pregnancy works, jerk.

Duncan: Right, right. Come on in then, let’s talk about this…

Aiyanna: Did you speak to Erin in the end?

Duncan: Yeah. She’s not exactly happy… never mind that! Let’s just forget about all that for like five minutes.




Aiyanna: So Erin’s seriously gonna divorce you?

Duncan: I think so, this time. She said, uh… she said this was, like, ‘beyond the pale‘.

Aiyanna: I’m sorry.

Duncan: Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I still want to win her back somehow but… I dunno, maybe it’s just not going to work. I wish love wasn’t so complicated.

Aiyanna: Listen, um, there’s something I need to know. When you asked me the other day if you can love more than one person… do you love me?

Duncan: Sure, but-

Aiyanna: It’s just. I’d feel so much better about all this if I at least heard you say it.

Duncan: I do love you. You’re gorgeous and funny and sometimes it’s like you’re the only person in the world who accepts me for who I am instead of what I could be. Ugh, but I don’t think I can say it’s only you, I-

Aiyanna: I love you too.

Duncan: What about Alon?

Aiyanna: It’s only ever been you. It’s so stupid, I tried so hard to get over you but I still-

Duncan: It’s okay. I’m sorry.

Aiyanna: I’m sorry, too.




Erin & Lewis get home. Poor Lewis has no idea what’s going on :/

Aiyanna: Erin! Listen, I-

Erin: Hello, Aiyanna. We’ll work out what we’re doing about that baby of yours in just a moment, I need to yell at my husband first.

Aiyanna: That’s fair. I’ll, um, be in the bathroom?

Erin: You ASSHOLE.

Duncan: C’mon, babe, not in front of Lewis-

Erin: He should know what a piece of shit his father is! I don’t want him growing up thinking this kind of thing is acceptable or normal.

Aiyanna: Um, guys?

Uh… welcome to the legacy baby Finn??? Nobody seems thrilled, understandably :(

Duncan: This is a bad dream, right?

Erin: You look exhausted. Why don’t you let me take him?

Aiyanna: Are you sure? I don’t-

Erin: It’s fine, Aiyanna. I’ve done this plenty of times.




(Fuck’s sake, Aiyanna. Dream date roses??????? You were meant to be the cool one!! You’re killing me)




Duncan: Thanks for being so cool about this, babe.

Erin: I am not “cool” with this. But what’s done is done and I refuse to let an innocent baby suffer just because you’re incapable of being a decent partner.




Meanwhile, outside, some random stray animal fight??? This household is so chaotic




Aiyanna: Yeeek! What is that??

Lewis: Static electricity, hahahaha!

Aiyanna: Very funny, kid…







Aiyanna: Am I… evil? I don’t feel evil but I should probably feel guiltier about this… maybe I’m in shock?




Not sure how long they’ll be able to keep this setup going, but Erin, Lewis & Penelope take the bedroom.




Aiyanna: Something smells good!

Duncan: Yeah, uh, Erin said you might be hungry. You okay? you were in the bathroom for a while, there…

Aiyanna: Eh, I’ll be all right. Oh, you put Finn to bed?

Duncan: Yup. Had to move the TV but we’ve just about got room for everyone…

Aiyanna: I feel awful. It’s like I’ve just taken a slegehammer to your marriage…

Duncan: Honestly, it wasn’t doing great anyway. Plus, we probably should have used protection?

Aiyanna: Oh, yeah. I didn’t think about that…

Duncan: Aiyanna? We’ve got a pull-out if you’re tired… fuck.







The trailer layout currently, if anyone’s curious! Everything is just about accessible, but it’s definitely not ideal.